Long Distance Relationship Perks
by kasugai gummie
Summary: [AtoRyo] “You had better be in the throes of chronic heart failure Monkey King.” Oneshot


**Disclaimer**: Ore-sama and Ore-sama Junior belong to Konomi Takeshi. Written for entertainment purposes only.

**Warnings**: Snippet prose punctuated by pieces of complete dialogue. Pairing is Atobe/Ryoma, timeline is indeterminate, and there's a lot of disjointed banter going on.

**Author****'****s Notes**: Written for the infant AtoRyo shipdom, which also now has its very own, long-overdue C2 community right entitled **Elitists Royale**. Go support it naa?

I don't usually come out of my review!whore closet and ask for feedback, but in this case _detailed_ reviews would be nice. I haven't exactly written for AtoRyo for quite awhile so I'm not sure if I got their dynamics down pat. Thank you.

* * *

**Long Distance Relationship Perks**  
by kasugai gummie

* * *

Atobe prefers phone calls to electronic mail. He prefers to hear another's voice and all the nuances in words, tone, inflection, that are otherwise lost over written correspondence.

His phone bills are, needless to say, quite long and quite costly.

Which probably explains why his first major business venture had to deal with a forty-percent market share acquisition of Japan's major telecommunications industry under the Atobe name.

* * *

"You had better be in the throes of chronic heart failure Monkey King."

"Hello to you too Echizen."

"Do you have _any_ idea what time it is right now?"

"Of course. It's time for you to stop neglecting the cell phone Ore-sama bought for you."

"Monkey King..."

"I thought I told you to stop calling me that—but yes?"

"Is this a social call? Because of it is, I'm going to throw this thing out the window."

"You don't sleep with your windows opened though, if I remember correctly."

"You remembered correctly. Good for you. You sounded like a stalker, by the way."

"I see you're still shockingly rude."

"Let me make something clear Monkey King: The time here is exactly—oh hell—six thirty in the morning. I just won another championship title fourteen hours prior. My flight's in seven hours but I need to attend a press conference in four. So, if you don't mind, I'd like to go back to sleep."

"Tsk. You should feel honored that Ore-sama managed to call you despite having to fend off unwanted business proposals."

"Oh, is _that_ what they're calling it now?"

"I'm going to overlook your slight on my fidelity for now."

"Che. Get on with it already Monkey King."

"Ungrateful brat. Didn't your lecherous father ever teach you any patience?"

"Heh. You're a fine one to talk _Keigo-chama_. Besides, you're _robbing_ me of my sleep. It's as valid of an excuse as far as excuses go."

"Fine, fine. The main reason for this call is that Ore-sama would like to know your preference on a certain situation, so before you resume your beauty sleep—"

"You know, you're the only man I know who can say "beauty sleep" without feeling insecure about his sexuality."

"Thank you—"

"That wasn't meant to be a compliment."

"—Stop interrupting. Now, the problem concerns your flight back."

"Eh?"

"Your arrival to be precise. Would you like me to dispatch the four-door or the six-door limousine?"

"...t you _dare_."

"Unless of course, you'd prefer that I come pick you up personally?"

"Don't you _DARE_."

"Be reasonable Echiz—"

* * *

Ryoma depends on the internet and his publicity managers to maintain contact with the rest of the world. For some odd reason, he finds maintaining conversations in real time very troublesome.

His scant lined emails can testify to that.

* * *

**Sender**: Ryoma Echizen  
**Recipient**: Atobe Keigo  
**Subject**: None

Am at the airport. Will board in half an hour. Send your chauffer over and I'm checking into a hotel for the rest of my stay.

-

**Sender**: Atobe Keigo  
**Recipient**: Ryoma Echizen  
**Subject**: Re: None

You're being purposefully difficult, aren't you? I'm footing your mobile phone bill, so I don't see why you refuse to use it every once in a while. As for your ridiculous ultimatum, that you would refuse Ore-sama's hospitality does not come across as an effective act of defiance. Especially when the most popular chain of five-stars is managed by my second cousin, twice removed.

I know your American managers. In fact, I've contacted them already. We have all concluded that it is most beneficial if you stay with me.

By the way, certain parts of my house are still being redesigned, of which include your usual suite complex. Therefore you will be residing in Ore-sama's rooms for the time being.

-

**Sender**: Ryoma Echizen  
**Recipient**: Atobe Keigo  
**Subject**: Re: Re: None

Those imported Siamese fighting fish that disappeared from your parlor aquarium last December? Karupin ate them.

* * *

Atobe has an exquisitely refined taste and impeccable style. He realizes that it's his duty to educate the deprived masses.

And he does so with every condescending smirk he directs at the adoring public.

* * *

"About time you answered your phone Echizen. You may stop staring at Ore-sama's tinted windows and step through the automatic doors anytime now."

"Bastard. You just don't listen, do you?"

"I can _see_ you, you brat!"

"I can see you too. Your point?"

"Stop being difficult. My bodyguards tell me that you've already retrieved your luggage."

"I see you, your entourage and a horde of squealing cultists beyond your car. Getting mauled or groped by rabid fans my first day back wasn't on my agenda."

"I will send men to bodily remove you from point A to point B if necessary."

"Odd. I don't see Kabaji?"

"I gave him leave to visit his family. Now will you come out and Get In The Vehicle?"

"No—wait. Stop. No, get _back_ in your car Monkey King!"

"Aa? Did you say something Echizen?"

"... che. I'm on my way out now. If you'll stop preening for the cameras..."

"Excuse me? Ore-sama does _not_ do something so crass as pree—"

* * *

Ryoma likes things simple, despite being horribly unsimplified himself, so he accepts the fact that the world has other plans. He would prefer that his Japanese following be smaller than his American fanbase, but it isn't. In fact, it is twice as large. He'd prefer it if he didn't receive fanmail with nude photos, condoms, marriage proposals, and the occasional lube, but he fields his father's hysterical amusement with ease nevertheless. He'd like it if being in a semi-long-distance relationship with one of the most influential men on Japan's flourishing business scene didn't require him to answer some odd phone calls at ungodly hours in the morning.

But Atobe is unique, something of a one of a kind, with a sleuth of odd quirks and a character and mind combination that sets him above the common crowd. To be fair, Ryoma supposes that they're really two of a kind.

So he deals.

* * *

When Ryoma wakes up, it's to a steady rumble emanating near his bare midriff, just shy of the damp spot near his thighs. It's seven in the morning and he can feel the barest whisper of breathing against his nape. If he cares, he can make out the distorted shapes of his untouched bags beyond the canopy poles. They are spread in a most haphazard manner, left in the patternless mess of where he had dropped them before being tumbled unceremoniously to bed last night.

An indulgent smirk creeps onto his lips.

Ryoma never suffers from jetlag when in Japan.

Atobe makes sure of that.

* * *

**Fin  
**Completed: 08/17/05


End file.
